Say “adios” to “Jerk-Off Month” and “hola” to the month of weddings with the all-powerful banana!
Move over apples, because some folks say that the real forbidden fruit is the banana. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s because the conservative, uptight Judeo-Christian types get all hot and bothered by the banana’s phallic shape and size. Ooh la la!
Did you know that bananas were first hunted and gathered as a source of food, fiber, and building materials? Talk about a multi-purpose fruit! They eventually made their way from Southeast Asia to the Middle East, Africa, and all over the world. Nowadays, bananas are one of the most important crops out there, after wheat, corn, and rice. Not bad for a berry that’s produced by a freakin’ herb, am I right?
But wait, there’s more! You might have heard about the Panama Disease and how it killed off the Gros Michel banana. Or you might be into bananas for their killer nutritional profile. Or maybe you just love how easy they are to spot in a fruit bowl. But did you know that the Cavendish banana is also in danger? Yep, we’re facing a banana crisis, people!
What’s really bananas to me is how something as innocent as a piece of fruit can cause so much chaos and drama. I mean, did you know that bananas have been at the centre of massacres and colonialism, taken down governments, and created “banana republics”? Dive deep into the history of bananas and you will unveil a sinister story of corporate greed and US imperialism. It’s a total mess out there, folks. But hey, at least we still have our trusty bananas to munch on, right?
Model: Paul Kevin Hall
Sources:
https://humwp.ucsc.edu/cwh/bananas/Site/Early%20History%20of%20the%20Banana.html
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/foods/bananas#nutrition
