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A top-down, angled shot of a vegan tuna salad sandwich on a small wooden cutting board. The open-faced sandwich is on a slice of whole-grain bread, topped with a piece of green lettuce and a generous scoop of chunky, light-colored tuna salad. Next to the sandwich, there are two more slices of bread and the end piece of the loaf. To the left, a couple of thin slices of red tomato and a sprig of dill are on the plate. A clear glass bottle and a black appliance are in the soft-focus background. The words "VegOrgasm" are written in a dark blue font in the bottom left corner of the image.
Print Recipe

Chickpea “Tuna” Sandwich

When you want seafood vibes without actually dealing with fishy guilt.
Foreplay on bread. This chickpea “tuna” sandwich is creamy, tangy, and messy in all the right ways—naturally vegan, slyly seductive, and guaranteed to make your lunch break feel scandalous.
Prep Time15 minutes
Course: Breakfast, Main Course, Snack
Keyword: vegan
Servings: 4 depends on how hungry you are
Cost: 150.00

Ingredients

  • 1 can chickpeas drained and rinsed
  • 2 tbsp vegan mayo (slick and glossy, like a good personality)
  • 1 tsp Dijon mustard (sharp enough to wake the dead)
  • 1 stalk small celery, finely chopped (adds crunch, like life lessons)
  • 1 small red onion, finely minced (because subtlety is overrated)
  • 1 tsp capers, chopped (for briny surprises)
  • 1 tsp lemon juice
  • Salt and black pepper, to taste (because rules exist for a reason)
  • Bread of choice (rainbow bagel optional for full glory)
  • Lettuce or greens, optional garnish (because presentation counts)

Instructions

  • Mash with flair.
    In a bowl, mash the chickpeas with a fork until chunky but not completely smooth. Think “messy perfection”—Alden when he just got up from bed.
  • Mix the magic.
    Add vegan mayo, Dijon mustard, celery, onion, capers, and lemon juice. Stir like you mean it. Taste and season with salt and pepper. Adjust for tang or extra “je ne sais quoi.”
  • Assemble.
    Spread the chickpea mixture generously onto your chosen bread. Rainbow bagel, crusty sourdough, or whatever you can grab—it’s your stage. Top with lettuce or greens if you’re feeling fancy.
  • Serve hot or cold.
    Slice in half for drama, or leave whole for rebellion. This sandwich is best enjoyed with a side of smug satisfaction.
  • Devour with pride.
    Take a bite. Let the creamy, briny, slightly crunchy filling remind you that vegan lunches can be sexy, messy, and completely worth the effort.